I was walking home from work between 3rd and 2nd Avenue on East 60th Street. It was cold, dark and I was alone. I thought to myself, “What am I holding onto here?” The work that I was doing was not fulfilling to me intellectually and I felt lost, alone and defeated. My eyes welled up with tears and I knew that it was time for me to make that dreadful decision that I kept putting off.
By the time I reached my apartment, I had decided to throw in the towel and leave Manhattan. At that moment, I made a choice to be brave and strong. I stood up tall, washed the tears from my face and took a deep breath…then I began to make a plan. Once I make up my mind to do something or achieve something, I almost always see success. I had many things to do. I had to get my car back, sublease my apartment, quit my job, interview for a South Florida position, pack up all my belongings and buy an airline ticket. I did it all in 5 days…no exaggeration!
I remember so well what I did the night before I got on the plane to leave. I walked around the entire city for hours, thinking and dealing with all that transpired during my time in New York. I stopped by St. Patrick’s Cathedral to pray. I then wrote a letter to someone dear to me to say goodbye. I purchased a special item from the Cathedral’s gift shop that I held onto as a 'spiritual memorabilia' of my time in NYC.
So, needless to say, it was bittersweet, but I knew that it was time to let go. Leaving NYC and returning back to Florida has been a saving grace to me in many ways, I have no regrets at all, but I left behind a great love and a great dream. It was hard to let go of both.
Yet, if there is one thing that I have learned in my life is that when we let go of something that we should not be holding onto, we free our hands to grab hold of something else. I use to think that holding onto something made me strong, but I realize that at times it takes more strength to let go.
There are times when life forces us to ‘turn the page’ and as we turn the page we realize that our story is not over, it continues.
So, if you have been stuck on the same page of your story, and you know that it is time for you to turn the page, allow my life to be a living example to you. Trust me, it will be ok in the end. Face your fears and just turn the page, just like I did! It is the best feeling in the world to realize that there are more pages, life goes on…the story is not over!
Read a previous blog about how I returned to pack up my apartment. You might glean some wisdom from my experience.
Good Bye New York: http://www.msbonavia.com/-blog/archives/03-2014
Good night Tigers! Ms. B.