You see, when Tarzan navigated through the jungle, he would go from tree to tree swinging from vine to vine. He never let go of a vine until his other hand was firmly grasping the next vine. Apparently, it was clear to all my friends that I would walk away from something before I had the ‘new’ thing, or “vine” in my hand.
So let’s think about this. Should we always have the next best thing in our hand before we let go of what we think is not good for us? People do this all the time when it comes to relationships. They will not break up with a person until they know that they have a new relationship lined up to replace the old. People do it with teams, memberships, jobs, places to live, churches and so on. Many people don’t make the decision to walk away from something or someone until they know exactly what will replace it. In my opinion, this is a sign of weakness.
I am very different when it comes to this behavior. I will walk away from something strictly on the basis that it is not good for me. My friend was correct in her analysis of my personality.
You see, when you are truly happy with yourself, you’re not afraid to be alone with yourself. You don’t always ‘need’ to have someone with you to make you happy. Happiness can come from within. As a matter of fact, I would rather be alone with myself than spend the rest of my life with the wrong person.
Trust me that being happy does not mean the everything is perfect, it is not! But what it does mean is that I have decided to see beyond life’s imperfections and make the ‘choice’ to live in happiness. I don’t need to ‘replace’ people and places to ensure me of my happiness.
The other reason that I don’t play Tarzan is that I have too much confidence in myself to need to always have the next thing lined up to fill a gap in my life. Confidence is a beautiful thing. Oscar Wilde said it best when he said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”. You get confidence in life by putting yourself out there to get things done. Once you see yourself achieving goals, living out dreams and being successful, you will develop more confidence.
Now, let me make one thing clear, I truly don’t believe that we are meant to live alone. We were created for love. Love is universal, no one can be left out. But learn to love yourself and think of life as seasons. There is nothing wrong with taking a season off from dating in order to accomplish a goal...like graduating!!! Trust me, that when the right person comes into your life at the right time, you will know it. Get your life in place first, stay patient and expect nothing less than the best for yourself! Leave all that ‘Tarzan playing’ for the weak people who are afraid of being alone for a season! You’re stronger than that! Love, Ms. B.